Danger Zone
by DracoMalfoy'sPrincess
Summary: The wall is cold as I let my back sink into it, trying to repress the groan that needs to escape as the cigarette burns come into contact with the rough surface. They want to hear my pain. It's what they are waiting for. It's what they crave. My name is Hermione Granger and this is my story. A story of hurt and hate and twisted love - everything that I ever felt for Draco Malfoy.
1. When You Were Young

**Well hello, i hope everyone is having a great summer. This story has been ADOPTED from Kate Goode. she has taken down her version i believe and gave me the hard copy to continue it. i have changed things around so even if you read her first chapters please read these first chapters otherwise you probably wont understand some things. **

**For everyone who also reads why me! i have not abandoned that story. i was not in a mood to write a love story today, so i thought that i would have a crack at this one. **

**please be warned that this is a M rated story, so there will be some hanky panky occurring between our favorite Draco Malfoy - in all his bad ass glory - and hermione. **

**if anyone feels up to beta-ing this story then email me. **

**sorry for the super long AN :)**

**Disclaimer- i do not own any of the Harry Potter world. **

**credit to KateGoode for the idea.**

_**oh, please review to let me know what you think. **_

* * *

"Start with your name please," The interrogator smiles at me. His name is sewn into the awful DE authorised shirt and trousers that he is wearing. Captain Lestrange.

Hatred for myself and at him wells inside of my soul as I realised that I have sold myself. "Granger." I smirk, I can see it in his eyes, and he thinks he's cracked me. He thinks I've surrendered my name because I'm weak. And I am, I sold myself for a few bits of paper and a decent meal. I wanted to tell my story. And I wanted to do it my way and they are going to have to read everything I have to tell them if they want to find the answers that they have asked me for.

If I have to betray Harry and Ron, Mr. And Mrs. Weasley, Fleur and Bill and Ginny and so many others, than I am going to do it my way.

He asks me again to clarify my first name. I know he is already aware of my name, of who I am. Not that I do not already think that he is insanely stupid; but you would have to be exceptionally deficient if you did not recognise _Hermione Granger's _signature mane of hair when it has been splattered on 'MOST WANTED POSTERS' for the last few months.

And he should know that the best friend of the boy who lived is not going to disappear without some sort of repercussions. Personally, I'm hoping that all of his limbs are severed from his body when they find out who tortured me for days on end.

But, I decide to refrain from telling him that because I already have a collection of cigarette burns on my neck and I would like to avoid getting any more. "Hermione." I continue with my first name and then flick my gaze to the cigarette happy bitch standing behind him.

Belatrix Lestrange.

Wife.

I want to comment, spit out an insult to the woman that murdered my best friend's godfather, but I don't. Right now it's not really my place to comment on something that is so in the past. It hurts to think that someone's death can every truly disappear from your mind, but there comes a point when you have to let go... when it gets so difficult to hold on and remember... when all you want to do is give up.

I have met the woman before. Crazy, sadistic and completely nuts.

She's wearing the same ugly black shirt with her name and rank printed on it, but her trousers have been swapped for an even uglier black skirt that doesn't do anything for her hips.

I tell her so.

Which is a mistake.

I know that now, after an excruciating ten minutes of having the Death Eater symbol - a snake writhing out of a scull - branded into my skin with some sort of hot poker. You would assume that Wizarding Torture methods would differ slightly from antediluvian muggle techniques; but – and this is said with an immense, firsthand knowledge – that muggle blood may not be good enough for Purebloods but they have no problem stealing pain inflicting processes.

I can still smell the rankness of burning skin, my burning skin. All for telling her that she needs to maybe stop burning people with cigarettes and start smoking them because 1) maybe they will stop her eating so she could lose a little weight, and 2) hopefully it would cover the stench escaping from her mouth.

I don't think she liked me telling her... and she definitely did not get the hint.

"Now, Agent Granger." he smiles, "I have given you a list of things I would like to know." I smile, as if he is going to get anything out of me.

"Starting with the Order's latest plan of attack," I look down at the paper he has given me. The thick regal looking sheets that are used on prisoners here in the DE base would be like heaven for the Order who have to get by scribbling on receipts and old text books due to the cutbacks on resources that were deemed 'unnecessary.'

There's a pen too, a beautiful looking fountain pen that seems to just guide itself over the paper as I pick it up and scribble the heading.

There's not much to tell. I was sent off with fake papers. I was supposed to deliver a message to a man begging for help from a DE controlled area. Though, the message never arrived. But the papers and I happened to fall into the clutches of the DE. The DE stands for something horrific.

Something frightening. Awful. People outside of our little nation of England wouldn't understand the horrors that we have faced. At least they wouldn't have.

Now that I'm writing I guess that I should carry on. It gives me something to do and I need something to focus my over active imagination on. I'm already imagining the way they may have captured the rest of the order while I've been stuck here. I'm far from safe, but at least I know what's going to happen to me.

I've accepted my fate.

Harry and Ron don't ever know if they'll make it home at night. But I'm getting ahead of myself. If I'm going to answer your questions, I'll have to start at the beginning.

There are going to be things you don't like, things that I will revel in telling you because I know that you are closer to failure than you think you a-

I get slapped over the ear my Belatrix Lestrange's manly hand here. It still fucking hurts. I don't think she likes believing in the possibility of failure; she's too close to her precious Dark Lord to believe that there is any way they could fail. Only the best of the best will be kept if they do manage to fight the resistance. If they do manage to prosper even though there are so many against them.

You say you want my story. Alright.

You can have it.

Have it all and I won't hold the fact that you would rip it from my cold dead hands against you...because that is what you are promising isn't it, Captain Lestrange?

I know how it works. I know what is going to happen to me.

I'm not naive enough to assume/ believe that people will find me. That people will save me. You say that if I humour you, if I give you what you want, you'll not kill me.

But I know better.

I know I will die as soon as the last words of my confession slip through my cold lips - could you do us a favour and cast a heating charm, I mean would it kill you? - because it's what you do to the people you believe the world should be rid of.

Because that is what I am aren't I?

Mudblood.

But your words don't hurt me anymore Captain...or maybe I'm talking directly to you master. Voldermort. Evil BASTARD he is.

Do you want to know why your words don't rip into me like they once did?

All because of your nephew through marriage. You know Draco Malfoy don't you, Captain? You wife's, sister's son._ Evil bastard_ he is too.

You all are, pretty much.

I thought he was decent.

I thought that he was a good guy for a little while. I thought that he had put blood prejudice behind us, but I was wrong. I fell as easily as a domino, but I think you already know that don't you, Captain?

Captain. I HATE that word almost as much as I HATE Draco Malfoy.

My story starts when I first became a witch. The first time I placed a 'muddy' shoe into Hogwarts. Get what I did there, Captain? Do you appreciate my humour? Do you like the way I play with my words? The way I take your ideals and flush them down the toilet with one carefully placed, snarky remark.

I can see your knuckles whitening as you grasp the table, watching what I'm writing over my shoulder. That's no fun is it, Captain? It ruins the surprise.

I always wanted to be an author, I like the idea of a surprising plot; of twisting and turning my words until no one can see what is happening next, and there is nothing that will surprise you more than what I am going to tell you.

Maybe it will even change your ideas about your so called 'ideals'.

Then again, maybe not.

I think you are too far gone to change. Plus, I don't think I'd want a dick like you on our side. Apparently the Lady-Captain doesn't much like my use of insults. Fuck you. I'm giving you what you want, aren't I?

"Lestrange, sort her out." The Lady-Captain spits also reading over my shoulder. Somehow, mostly by the way the Captain shrinks back at her tone; I don't believe they married through love. "Little Shit." Belatrix's wand sparks at her side and she slams my head into the table.

Maybe I should refrain fr–

04 July 2012

16:42

I'm allowed to write again. Belatrix got so pissed at what I wrote about her sham of a marriage that she had to be escorted/ dragged from the room so they could stop her from killing me.

That doesn't stop them from feeling the need to point their wands at my face and forcefully wash my mouth out with some sort of magic-wand soap. Yes, we should all try to kill our prisoners by suffocating them with mouth-wash. Somehow, I don't think it is going to catch on.

I'm told now that I have to start writing something meaningful. I remind the Captain that if this is to be a good story than I need to have a big build up. To which he replies, "Just get to the fucking point." With a few more swear words and other things that I shouldn't mention. I would also like to point out – in writing because I would rather avoid another mouth scrub down – that I have given you all a few good pieces of advice.

1) The Lady-Captain needs to buy some better fitting clothes

2) Your interrogation tactics need work

3) You should save the good paper for something more important

4) Voldermort is a BASTARD and should be thrown off the top of a building (This gets me a good black eye)

5) The youngest Malfoy should never be trusted (then again, maybe none of the Malfoy's should be trusted)

6) And the Captain really needs a good shave – not mentioned before, but I feel the need to share advice and this is at the top of my current 'add to the advice list' list

See, six pieces of great advice that you would have not gotten if I wasn't a 'good for nothing know it all'.

Right, I guess I should start my story now, you are raising you wand, pointing it at me. Okay, okay. I get it.

Important information only.

Voldermort is a BASTARD. What? You said important information...

_September 1__st__ 1991_

_The first time I stepped foot on the Hogwarts express was the best day of my life. There was something ever so magical and exciting in the air that had me gagging with eagerness before the school year even started. Obviously, I did not know what was waiting for me. _

_Prejudice. _

_Hatred. _

_Anger. _

_Resentment. _

_An eleven year old should not have to face things like that. She shouldn't have to have her innocence ripped from her as she looks upon the face of a boy whose hair shone like the moon high in the sky and whose eyes looked like the best storm clouds. _

_But, I had to deal with hatred and anger and prejudice and resentment from all the little Pureblooded babies who thought that they were better than the rest of us; just because their parents were cousins and their blood was one millionth from insanity._

_As unhappy as I am to disclose this fact – but a good story is nothing without the facts – I have to admit that I was smitten with Draco Malfoy and his beautiful blond hair. _

_My feelings regarding him created an oxymoron of emotions inside of me for the best part of seven years. There was a very, very large part of me that hated him with everything that I could give, and then I would see his folorn expression or the raging defiance that was so god damn attractive and I would fall all over again. _

_Everyone loves a bad boy. That is what my mother said the moment I confided in her the possibility that I may have more than platonic feelings for the boy who hated me on principle. I told her that forth year, right after Yule Ball when I saw him watching me from across the hall from his place on Pansy Parkinson's arm as she tried to fix her hideous Slytherin green dress to show more cleavage in an attempt to drag her date's attention back to her. _

_It didn't work. _

_My mother tried to console me... there is always something about a mother's words that help, even if they have no point whatsoever. _

_If it was just about a bad boy and the attractiveness of the unknown, why could I not have fallen for Theodore Nott or Blaise Zabini – both Slytherins, both sexy as sin and both as bad as Draco Malfoy. But for some reason I couldn't turn my unwanted affection from Draco Malfoy and so I passed my Hogwart's years in a tumble of self hatred and anger at the fact that I – Hermione Granger, know-it-all and the biggest swot the magical world had ever seen – had fallen for the enemy; even though it was utterly illogical._

_After forth year, I pushed myself into my studies and into collecting all the information I could find that would help us to survive when we had to run for it. _

_I tried, in complete and utter vain, to forget Draco Malfoy. But you cannot turn off your subconscious, no matter how hard you try. I learnt to hide my thoughts and feelings; occlumency was a must as war started its rapid approach, what if someone saw what I felt inside? What if they sent Draco to break me? _

_I could not have dealt with that. _

_The nightmares came thick and fast as the war neared, which left my mind vulnerable and open and full of thoughts of someone I didn't want to think about. _

_Ironically, the only person who could ever stave off the night terrors was Draco himself. Even though now, the only nightmares I have are of his face and the way that I crumbled into dust like a brick tower atop a mountain plagued by erosion as it falls to the sea._

Even though I know it's wrong, I still wish I could curl up into his side – if only to pretend that everything is ok.

_After Fleur's wedding to Bill; Harry, Ron and I fled to Grimauld place. For a while we were alone. For a while we managed to survive when we didn't know what happened to anyone. _

_But then the members of the order started turning up. They started arriving alone first. Tonk's, Moody, Remus. And soon all the principle members of the order had arrived. Then the missions began – the missions to take down the Death Eaters – and people started returning with the need of support. _

_Two people carrying someone severely injured through the doorway became a common sight. And I could tell it was tearing Harry apart. It was killing him from the inside out as he watched more and more of his friends and adopted family wasting away. _

_We had to leave. We had to get out of the suffocating atmosphere of Grimauld place. And we ended up in the middle of a forest – or maybe it was a national park. We moved about so much that I can never remember where we went first. _

_And for the first time after Hogwarts, I met Draco Malfoy._

* * *

**_So, i havent really decided exactly how it is going to end. i have two options, i guess you will all have to keep ready to find out :)_**

**_please review to let me know what you think. _**


	2. Heart Of A Girl

**Before, i begin my chapter, i want to thank every who read the last chapter, especially Lollingalltheway who favorited this story :)**

**the title of the story came from the lyrics to a Killers song, when it got stuck in my head after going to see their concert last week. i would recommend to anyone who likes them to go and see them because they were absolutely fantastic :) so i have decided to stick with the theme, so if the chapter titles sound familiar than i guess you guys know why. **

**i should shut up now, right? :)**

* * *

05 July 2012

2:42

Yes, you read that correctly. 2. 42 am. As in; the morning. I am woken by screaming. Not mine, though it wouldn't surprise me if it had been because I was having a terrible nightmare.

I decide to start writing; sluggishly, but I continue to drag my pen over the page anyway. It's something to do. I can't get the screams out of my head now that they are there. Loud piercing sounds that cut through the air like knives; marring an already awful picture and scaring deeply into my soul.

So I said I would start at the beginning and I did. I guess the only place to continue would be what happened after the first time your bastard of a nephew entered my life. In some twisted way I blame you for him being there are that point in time, Captain. It works in my head by a fragile connection that won't make any sense to anyone else. But I need someone to blame for my gullibility and it's going to be you.

If you hadn't married his aunt, maybe we – Draco and I, and I guess me and you is also a meeting I could do without – wouldn't have met. And, I wouldn't be here.

The first time I met Draco was first year. The doors to the great hall.

The last time I saw him was the same place, seven years later, on the day that he betrayed me and threw any love I had for him back in my face.

Over the years, the pain caused by his hate filled words had started to dull and I, in turn, became more and more immune to the scarring colloquy that escaped his lips.

But the sentiments returned full force when he broke my heart and once again I was an eleven year old crying because her school girl fantasy had crushed her heart. I tried to squash the tears. I tried to block it all out and to pretend that nothing he had ever done had hurt me. But it didn't work and trying to quench the tears like I did just made it hurt more. A lot more.

I won't pretend his hate filled words didn't affect me, because they did. And I won't pretend that I believe that he ever felt any remorse for what he did and what he said, because I know that he didn't. He never would.

So there you have it, our first meeting and the knowledge that Draco Malfoy was my first crush ever. The snarky git, with the perfect hair made my heart melt like chocolate over the gas of a burner, and I got too close to the fire. Close enough to get burned.

We let him in. I guess you know when he was reporting everything I told him back to you. Was he the one who told you where I was that night? Was he the one who gave me up?

I don't know how he could though, because he hadn't seen me in over a month by that point. Did he tell you everything? The way I crumbled like a burnt chocolate chip cookie, turning to dust beneath his fingers. But I was dust that didn't know how to fly away, how to coast on the wings of the wind because I had never had to before.

So I let him mould me. Was the decision to take my virginity yours, or his? I guess I don't really want to know. Even though I know that it is a long shot, I guess I still like to hope that there was some small recess of his brain that found me attractive enough to willingly bed me. But I guess I will get to that point in the story. It's something that I will make you sit through because I want to tell it. I want everyone to know how you hurt people. How you cut and destroy and stab at innocent children – _mudbloods –_ until they bleed real tears and real pain and real hurt that you Death Eaters don't even know how to feel.

When this war is over, because I know it will be soon, I want everyone to know that you were all monsters. I want everyone to understand how you scarred innocent girls, ripped away their naivety the way a tornado rips a house from the ground, just because you could.

I want no one to have mercy on you; I want you to all fall to the law. Especially Draco Malfoy. I want you to suffer through what you put me through, but I guess a dementor will do if I can't get a cigarette to your throat.

_The young Master Malfoy had always carried himself with poise and grace; he didn't act like a teenager. His posh Italian leather shoes and expensive robes screamed old money and we used to take the piss out of him all the time_ _for it, even though in the recesses of my own, hormonal mind I used to want to peel every inch of his clothing off with my teeth._

_We didn't take the piss out of him for the money, I guess we were all a bit jealous of that. Everyone wants to be rich. But, because of the way he used to prance around like he had a broom permanently stuck up his arse._

_The first time he call me a 'mudblood' I think it left a scar on my heart, mostly because I wanted him to respect me. If not because he was really worth the pedestal I put him on, but because he represented the wizarding world and I just wanted to be accepted. I felt that if I could get the Slytherin Sex God / Prince to accept the lowly Gryffindor mudblood, then I would really fit in. I would really have it all. Being a witch was not enough. Being friends with the boy who lived and Ronald Weasley was not enough. Nothing was enough until I got the respect that I knew I should have and not just from him, from everyone._

_All I wanted was respect from one of the only people I had met who wouldn't give it to me._

_It didn't matter however, because he can begging for my help on the seventh of September 1997. School had started for Ginny seven days earlier and the peace and quiet and relief from her constant crying and moaning over not being able to accompany us on our mission was enough to make me only slightly forgetful about our safety. _

_I ventured out of the boundaries of the wards that I had erected, around the tent we had taken with us, to keep us alive and that was when I found him. Lying on the ground behind a large boulder – which now that I think about it had no place in the middle of the forest in which we were staying._

_He saw me first. _

_Calling lightly to me as the blood continued to flow from the wounds on his broken body, I realised who it was. I was half tempted to turn around and march back into the tent before waking Ron and Harry speedily and apparating away as soon as possible, because in the back of my mind the first thing that I thought was _TRAP.

_Looking at him lying so pathetic on the ground, bleeding out with sticks and leaves fixed to his skin with the drying blood, I knew that I would never have been able to leave him to rot on the ground. _

_There was something about him that made me want to bend down and help him, crawl on my hands and knees until I hovered over his bruised form and was able to touch the pale skin that was painted red with rivers of blood. Or maybe I was just being a teenage girl and I fell to the idea that Draco Malfoy needed me. He _NEEDED _me. _

I nursed him back to perfect health. There is no need to worry Captain. There is no way that I would have let you nephew come to any harm in my care, not when I grew to love him.

_The entrance to the tent flapped shut behind me as I carried Draco's form through the opening and into the warm comfort of the magically enhanced tent. "What are you doing, Hermione?!" Ron looked at me flabbergasted as he watched me wipe the blood from Draco Malfoy's beaten face. _

Now I realise that it was probably all an act.

You didn't really turn on him, you didn't really leave him to rot behind a boulder in the middle of some unknown forest that just happened to be where Harry, Ron and I were camping.

I know now that you were probably watching me. You undoubtedly saw my face softening as I watched Draco struggle to breath and you knew that you had me because there was no way that I would be able to leave him to die.

I played right into the trap, and for that reason I have to admit that I am angrier at myself that I ever was at Draco.

What he did was bad. He played on my emotions and relished in breaking someone who had done nothing but put him back together after he was crushed into a million pieces himself, but I did worse.

I let my guard down. I let myself get crushed.

_"I'm helping someone who needs help, Ron!" I told my best friend, not even turning to look at Harry's face because I knew what was going to be there. Anger and his signature 'lost' look that made me want to do anything to make it better, so instead I refused to meet his eyes and I busied myself with cleaning the dried blood of Draco's face._

_"He's a death eater, Hermione!" Ron continued to insist, gripping my shoulders between his fingers and holding me steady as he forced me to meet his steely gaze. There was something that look akin to betrayal in the deep, cornflower blue irises that I had known so well for so long. _

_There was a laboured coughing from the hammock that I had placed Draco's frail body into, "Please," he begged, holding my eyes. The familiar 'storm cloud' grey had me rushing to his side in an instant and this time there was no mistaking the betrayal that rang strong on Ron's face. _

_I tried so hard to block out the growing resentment that Harry and Ron - and even to some extent Draco because he never did seem to let the past go; for a long time it was like my hands burned with every touch - felt towards me as I nursed their worst enemy back to heath in their safe haven, but I couldn't help it. I couldn't stop my hands moving to wipe clean any grazes and to dress and redress wounds that cut so deep that they needed more than one dose of magical healing spells or potions. _

_I could have let him die. I could have walked away from him in the forest and left him to bleed out on the frigid ground. There were a lot of times that I could have killed him. _

_In hindsight there are a lot of things that I would have done very differently. _

_But that is what's good about hindsight. It always makes the best decisions, doesn't it, hindsight? _

From the day he arrived so many people told me he was trouble. Tonks – you know Tonks right? She's somehow related to you, I don't keep a personal record of your family tree in my back pocket so I don't know Captain just where she falls in the category of family, but I know she is there. – told me to watch my back because I was put in charge of keeping an eye on him.

Tonks was nervously touching her hair, another sign of the impending doom was the way her hair turned a bright red. Obviously her Metamorphmagus power was behind the odd hair colour, but maybe it was an omen. I'm only saying that now because I feel I should have known that Malfoy was a bad apple.

Get it, red...apple?

Give me a bit of credit, Captain. I'm working on an empty stomach, two hours sleep and a table that keeps giving me splinters. Sorry if my sense of humour is not all it should be.

Anyway, I feel like I should have known. The brightest witch of her age fails again, right?

Maybe if I had trusted the people around me instead of being so naive I would have been able to protect myself, my heart and everyone who I loved.

_"Thank you," he whispered the first time that he woke for a long enough time to speak. He had been catching only glimpses of life for the past week or so. Most of the time he lay placid in the soft, banana-yellow hammock that I had left him in the first day that I had returned with his battered body. His voice was still cold and distrustful and harsh, but it was a start... no matter how small.  
_

_Looking at him, the inside of the tent empty and the only light source being the moonlight rushing in from the open flap, my breath caught as I took in his ethereal looking form. He looked like an angel lying in a halo of natural light and looking at me with piercing eyes. "Hush," I told him, not trusting myself to speak as he reached a wary, slow hand out to push my fingers away.  
_

_He still despised my touch. _

I loved his hands the first time that I ever saw them. There is something about a man's hands; the thick fingers, the protruding veins that snake their way up their fingers and loop around their wrists before flowing into their bulky forearms that makes me all excited...and Draco Malfoy had the perfect hands. The kind of hands that you want on your body all the time. They were kind of hands that you imagine ripping your clothes off before lowering you to the ground and doing wicked, other worldly things to your body.

_After I finished plaiting up the delicacy of the day - I guess we could call my food Mystery Surprise, sort of like school lunchtimes - I carried the plaits to the table in the middle of the tent. "You have to eat, Malfoy, otherwise you will not get better." I reminded him tiredly; I had been repeating the same thing for over two weeks now and he never seemed to listen. His had always been lanky, but he used to have copious amounts of muscle thanks to quidditch, and now he was just hollow. Like a tuna tin can after I fed the fish to Crookshanks. _

_"I don't want to eat," __his voice was still the harsh, cruel noise that he had always aimed at me.  
_

_"Have I killed you yet?" I asked him, my voice taking on a slightly hurt lilt as I watched his grey eyes flicker with something uninterpretable before closing off into the practiced blank look that I had seen him using many times over the two weeks that he had been awake in the tent with us. _

_Shaking his head, as if to clear any thoughts that may have been rushing through his mind, he asked, "Why haven't you?" looking at me, he took the fork from my outstretched hand and speared some of the wild mushrooms that I had found growing just outside the tent. "Killed me yet." _

_"I don't know," I replied and then stabbed some of my own mushrooms, "And if we don't die from these mushrooms, then I would say that not killing you would have to be a stroke of good fortune on your part." Smirking at the look of terror that passed through his eyes, he coughed out the mushrooms and pushed his plait back towards me. "Ha!" I laughed, shovelling another forkful of mushrooms into my own mouth and winking easily at him. _

_"Oh ha ha,"his glare was fixed firmly on his face once more and the usual cold look in his eyes that had melted moments before returned instantly.  
_

_I pushed his plate back towards him and muttered out, "It has been two weeks, injured my arse, I just think you are just faking now."  
_

_I should have known then that there was something funny going on. He hadn't called me Mudblood once; there was still some resentment or hatred on his part even though I had saved his life, but no one loses their ideologies that quickly.  
_

_"humph!" he huffed as he stood and hobbled back to the hammock. _

_I had had to reset his leg twice. Having to re-break it was the hardest part; I would never get the screams out of my head. I had stayed and dried his tears for hours after I had finished healing it - of course, he didn't know, he had passed out from the pain hours prior - I whispered 'I'm sorry' over and over and over again, crying to myself as I fell asleep. Harry and Ron didn't say anything to me that night.  
_

_"Hermione?" Harry walked into the tent, immediately throwing up silencing charms and making an opaque circle around us so Draco could not see or hear. "We have a new lead and we have to leave now." I could hear Draco fumbling about on the other side of our makeshift barrier and I was thankful that I was going to leave him for a few hours, everything had become so tense and tightly-strung, and there were some times - and I am truly not proud of this - that I just wished I had left him to die in the forest.  
_

There were nights when I sat up late into the night – sometimes through to the morning – talking to the little traitor. I told him about my life. I told him about every one of my secrets.

_One week later, Harry had come to a dead end. My parents had left me a house and we decided that we would used that as a base because none of us could bare to go back to Grimauld place. _

_The first night we arrived, Draco was in a worse state than I have ever seen him. We had ran into his mother on the way over, Narcissa Malfoy didn't know that we were there, she didn't see Draco, but we all heard what she said. _

_She had wished him dead. She had said that she was better off. Had told the woman she was with that she could have never loved the weak child that she had produced. _

_Just like the first night we arrived at my parent's house I stayed with him pretty much until he disappeared. That first night was the longest and the worst of my life._

_He had drunk too much, there was bottle hidden in the back of one of the drawers at the house where we were all staying – the name is under fidelus charm so I can't tell you, what a shame (bet you didn't find that one funny) – and he got smashed out of his mind._

_He gets violent when he's drunk. And scary. I was told to stay with him through the night. Maybe it would have been better if Harry or Ron had stayed with him. Maybe then I would have avoided the emotional connection we formed after I let him cry on my lap when he broke down when he realised what he had done.  
_

_It might have been the drunken haze, but I think he actually did feel some remorse over hitting me. I let him cry himself to sleep on my lap. I wiped the drool off his lip and I stayed with him as he puked up the alcohol that was rejected from his body. I didn't expect him to be thankful, I didn't even expect him to acknowledge his moment of weakness, but he didn't let me go the whole night._

_He cuddled into my side and I could feel his breath on the back of my neck and his hand running up and down my arm before he knotted his fingers through mine and held my hand the whole night._

_I don't think I slept at all that night. He did, but he definitely didn't let me go._

_Maybe that was when I subconsciously realised that my innocent school girl crush had never truly dissapeared. All of the times that I wanted his affection maybe I was just searching for the emotions that I wanted to be there. They say there is a fine line between love and hate, and I really believed that there was for a little while._

When you come into the room Captain, you pull me from my story.

I watch you eating your croissant in front of me. Selfish BASTARD. If I ate off of the floor would you let me eat? Don't hold your breath though because I wouldn't get my nose anywhere near your feet if your breath smells this bad. I guess you like eating muggle food don't you. So you'll eat their food but won't tolerate their 'dirty blood?'

Why don't you try black pudding? Great muggle delicacy, I think you'll love it.

When you finish eating your croissant so delicately, pealing each of the layers back with a smile on your face and your eyes flicking to me like you are imagining ripping of a layer of my skin with every pastry flake that crumbles into your hand, you watch me. You make a writing motion and gesture for me to continue.

I don't. I've already done enough for today.

Oops. Maybe not. The cigarettes are coming back out as well as the matches – another muggle invention (bloody hypocrite- OW!

* * *

**i hope that you are all enjoying the story so far. hopefully you are understanding what is happening. if not then i will quickly summerise, **

**Hermione has been captured due to draco selling her out. **

**She is being interogated by the Lestrange's and in exchange for her cooperation they have given her time - she is trying to hold out for rescue. **

**and she has been told to answer questions, but to try and buy more time she is telling ALL of her story from the beggining and is writing it down for them to read. eventually i will get to the questions she has to answer and stuff, but the next few chapters are just going to be more of setting the scene and developing hers and draco's relationship.  
**

**the italics are her written memories and the normal is her writing what she is thinking in the present. **

**please review to tell me what you think - constructive criticism is always welcome. **


	3. The World We Live In

**I know that this is a short chapter, but i forgot to add this to the end of the last chapter, so here it is :)**

* * *

05 July 2012

6:22

I can finally write again. He used the cigarette to scar my skin and then rubbed some sort of alcohol over it so it hurt to even move my head. After a few hours I have started to gain the mobility of my arms and shoulders again so I have decided to continue my story.

I could have milked it for a little longer I guess, but I decided that would be a bad idea because the faster I write the more useful I am and the longer they will keep me around.

Get that Captain? I'm not writing to please you. I am writing for my life. Just a few more weeks, that's all I want.

_Draco smiled properly at me for the first time two days later. I think that he was embarrassed at breaking down. _

_"Good morning." I smiled, I still hadn't really gotten used to having him around and I still couldn't force myself to speak his first name, but I was doing better than Harry or Ron. I was able to speak to him without drawing my wand and I was able to look at him without gripping something so hard it broke. Harry and Ron – well it was still a work in progress. _

_"Morning." He did the two finger salute/ wave that only sexy boys seem to be able to pull off_ – you can't Captain, so stop trying! He's reading over my shoulder again! – _and then lifted his coffee to his lips._

_I'm not going to fluff out the story and tell you that I instantly forgot our past and started imagining that I was the cup he was smearing his saliva over, because I didn't. I like to think I have a little more control and a little more respect for myself than that. I probably don't, but it's nice to think that I do._

_Anyway, it took a while before I really started to trust him. A good long while of patience and hours of talking that probably had him wanting to run faster back to his mummy and daddy than he ever thought possible._

_The morning I smiled at him for the first time was the morning that we started planning the trip to Hogwarts. Our first priority was the school and the students inside._

_If you could capture the school then there would be no choice but to surrender to save the lives of all the innocent muggleborns that we had promised to protect._

_We had planned all the spells to protect the school._

I've enclosed a list and all the reversal spells and counteracting spells as well. It's hard to give you all this information. So hard. But I only volunteer it because I have seen firsthand what you do to the people who don't surrender information.

The interrogation room is made of bars with spaces so that everyone here with me knows that I am a traitor. Knows that I have sold my soul to get a few more weeks, I have to tell you all the secrets that I can.

They made an example of the first person who tried to stop me from speaking, crocio-ed him until his screams were branded into our hearts like the Dark Mark is branded into their skin.

The raid on Hogwarts was planned for two weeks time. I don't know if they'll have changed it by now, without me. But I assume not.

_So that morning Draco was excluded from the planning. We were still not sure how much faith we could put on his pathetically weak shoulders, which in hind sight was a good thing. Well, until I came along to tell you anyway._

_I touched his hand as I made to leave the room; he placed his other on top and grasped mine. For some reason it seemed like a plea to me. Like he wanted me to stay with him. But I didn't. I had more important things to do._

How do you like that Draco? Knowing that, even to the girl who gave you her virginity you were not even that important? Just a blip on the radar in a long life of unfortunate events.

_The door shut to the kitchen and I left his pleading, stormy eyes behind and walked away. Towards the drawing room. Towards the people I could trust with my life._

Captain, how do you like looking at me like this? Knowing that there are so many people – me included – that given half a chance would rip you to pieces. How do you like the idea of ending up in Azkaban? Hopefully a lot, because I don't think you have much of a choice.

I think everyone in that drawing room would give their life to take yours. My my, what a big list of enemies you have Captain. How does one happen to go about making such an impressive list of bad qualities, misdeeds and people who hate them?

I guess I should identify everyone who was there, right?

Well of course there was Harry. Black hair, green eyes, lopsided grin...scar. You know, the boy who you were bred to hate? The boy your master is afraid of. Yeah that guy, my best friend.

Harry Potter was there, arm around Ginevera Weasley. Ginger, tall, beautiful, easily angered, famous for her bat boogy hex. Wouldn't get on the wrong side of her.

Next to her sat Professor Remus Lupin. Long time member, as you know, Werewolf. Also dangerous, also wouldn't get on his bad side.

His wife Tonks. The Metamorphmagus who you are somehow related to. Usually purple hair, brown eyes. Clumsy.

And Dumbledor obviously. Long white beard, bushy eyebrows, kind eyes...how can you not know Dumbledor. Oh, you are pulling my leg Captain. How about I stab your leg with my pen? I didn't think so. Oh, I think he has ditched the ciggys in favour of what look to be poisoned needles. Somehow I doubt that he is going to make me a new skirt.

I avoid the needles by starting to write again quickly. Where was I?

Oh yes, the order meeting.

_Not much was discussed; we had most things planned already. The main topic was still our unwanted/ uninvited by most of us, guest. The teenage arsehole/ heart throb depending on who you asked. I'm pretty sure the overall verdict now is traitorous backstabber, but I can't be sure._

* * *

**_So, here it is, please take the time to review :) _**


	4. The Way It Was

**So :) this chapter is dedicated to svowles1690 who was this stories first reviewer :) it was so nice to hear something positive about the story so thankyou :) **

**so onto chapter 4**

* * *

06 July 2012

12:04

Yesterday, today, tomorrow. All the days seem to be merging into one another. Night, day, morning, evening. I can't even remember if I managed to sleep in the last twenty four hours. Though, I'm pretty sure I haven't.

I keep telling the Captain that I have to sleep if I am to write something interesting and important, but he won't listen.

Therefore, I'm just going to sit here writing 'I need sleep' until he realises that I have a point.

I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sle-

06 July 2012

7:37

I managed to convince him with a lot of babbling that the any way he was to get a coherent piece of confession from me today was to allow me to sleep, and therefore I was given a lumpy mattress on the floor and a few hours to get some shut eye.

I have a pounding headache and I still can't really think straight, but I will try anyway. There is no point trying to make things harder for myself.

_I let Draco in a few days after the event that I have dubbed the 'First Smile'. The 'First Smile' being the event that led to my downfall and my hatred of good looking, blond idiots who go by the name Draco or Malfoy – I might as well handle the whole family in one go; no sense in discriminating against his shit of a father or his egotistical mother. If I could go back and change one thing, I would tell myself to stop acting like a pathetic idiot and to take a leaf out of Harry's book of Mistrust and keep my wand aimed on one; Draco Malfoy._

_Ron was still mistrustful of Draco until the very end, which was one of the main reasons that I was there alone the night that you captured me. Both of the boys refused to accompany someone who would turn against the resistance and side with a Death Eater._

_It was like the scandal of the century. I mean, it wasn't like I had kicked a puppy or something, but that was what they were acting like._

_Every time I locked eyes with Harry, he would shoot a wary gaze in my direction like I had just thrown Hedwig out of the window after cutting off her wings._

All I really did was sleep with a guy. I mean, I know I am viewed as the Virgin Granger, but I mean even 'uptight know it all's' need a release some time. I can hear them now like they are standing with me now, condescending gazes and all! 'Such a little whore!'

_**Is that what you thought Draco, when you slept with me? Was that what you were thinking when you lied to me and told me that you loved me? I know now, I know how you rip the hearts out of an innocent girl's chests and then slam them back to where you think they should be. Do you feel any remorse?**_

_**Oh no, I'm definitely not bitter at all!**_

Harry and Ron didn't see it as innocent. They saw it as STUPID!

And, if some feelings got confused, so what? I was the one who got hurt in the end. And, if I am being completely truthful I guess that Harry and Ron turning on me hurt me more than the 'Ultimate Betrayal!'

Yes, that is what I am going to call it. I think it fits pretty well, don't you Captain?

You are watching me Captain, did anyone ever tell you that you should have two eyebrows?

I know that the DE fashion is to look gross and scary, but a little personal hygiene and some deodorant would be appreciated, I mean I could even let you off on the toothpaste charge if you just wore a little DEODERANT!

I wonder if you can't smell it.

Even a _scorgify _charm would be better than this if you can't be arsed to get in the shower!

Ok, I see the topic / major ISSUE of cleanliness isn't your favourite by your willingness you draw your wand. Right, moving on. Have you considered shaving? I was joking Captain, don't get all pissy.

Note to self (Dictated by the Captain!): do NOT call the Captain Pissy. OR tell him he NEEDS to shave / gain another eyebrow. THERE SHOULD BE TWO! Hehe, get it? Oh right, it's from a Muggle film, not something that you Pureblood bastards would get.

Something I have noticed since being here is that my vocabulary has become amazingly enlarged.

Anyway, you have pushed another list in front of me, haven't you Captain? You have asked for the location of the Order Base.

I know the whole Death Eater side like to do everything in the open. No 'behind closed doors' or any of that shit for you, but for the rest of us poor souls, unless dying is on your wish list, you do stuff incognito.

I like that work. Incognito. Incognito. Incognito. I see you don't like that word, Captain...why? Because you don't know what it means?

...

...

...

Ok, subtle – alright, insanely obvious (but I have to be otherwise he wouldn't _understand!) - _hints at improving education of the Captain are also out.

Seriously, I mean all of these truths about their weaknesses are staring them in the face, but they just decide to ignore them! A little educating could really improve your planning and execution.

Anyway...where was I?

Oh yeah, incognito. So, when I tell you they are all under FIDELUS CHARM do you think you could try to keep up and realise that means I CAN'T tell you? I have already given you Grimauld Place, but you already knew where that was due to my own actions when I allowed a Death Eater to grab hold of me as I apparated Harry and Ron to safety. Maybe if they learnt to transport themselves than it wouldn't have happened and Grimauld Place would still be under our control.

Get Dumbledore in here if you want to know, but that is all I can tell you.

I am loving the new decor by the way. I mean, a sweaty wall decoration, who looks like he's been slammed through a sewer to get here, wearing Death Eater robes and permanently snarling as well as slamming my head into the table and threatening to curse me, just makes me feel so at home.

I mean, I feel so bad that I am living here free of charge. Maybe I should start paying you to stay here. With a few brochures and an advert in the Daily Prophet and I think you could really have something going here!

06 July 2012

16:56

My snarky comments and big mouth have gotten me in trouble again. Though, offering to give them something in return for the 'heaven' – his words not mine – that I am living in as a joke, was taken extremely literally. As in, three hours a day will be up in the main house working for them. Dusting, mopping, sweeping; I am supposed to be a real little Cinderella – let's just hope that I don't find my fairy Godmother while I am up there slaving away because instead of a ball, I would ask for all of you to drop dead like flies.

I would like to tell you who I encountered in the main house. Draco Malfoy. It would be odd if I wasn't in Draco Malfoy's house and he wasn't Voldie's right hand man's son – and left hand woman's niece; he just had bad genes from both sides of the family, there really was no hope for him – but it isn't odd and it WASN'T a pleasant experience.

Like if I saw him again in the next lifetime, it would be way too soon; which I guess is too bad because I will see him tomorrow.

I suppose that the only good thing was seeing that he was just as shocked as me that the other was there. I wished I had a camera. Do you know what that is, Captain? Again, I will suggest that you should go back to school, maybe enrol in a muggle studies class? Nope. Alright. It was only a suggestion.

You are making some sort of gestures with your hands and I am taking them to mean 'get a move on' so I will.

_I was at the first feelings between your little rat and yours truly. It was a strange experience. I was crying due to some insensitive comment that one Ronald Weasley made – there are too many to list, though I should suggest he write a book because he would make millions detailing crappy insults! – and he was there to comfort me._

You are already looking a little uncomfortable Captain. I can't wait to make you even more uneasy. Not nice thinking of the blond Pureblood brat with the lowly _Mudblood_ girl, is it Captain?

Too bad. You asked for the story and that is what I am going to give you.

_So I ran to him crying. I think that you'll find that in most of our encounters one of us is crying, and I am proud to say that most of the time it was Malfoy. Even though they were probably fake tears, it still gives me a little satisfaction to know that theoretically he was weaker than me. Well, in my head he was. I may have been the one to break in the finale, but he was broken long before I was. And you can't really break someone who is not whole; technically it was unfair playing grounds. _

_"Hermione." He had started calling me by my first name and it still made me start. Hearing it in a kind way coming out in his usually cold draw was like a shard of fear was stuffed through my chest. But it was a good fear._

_The kind of fear that girls feel in books when they fall in love with the bad boy. It was the kind of fear that every girl wants to feel once in their lives with a boy like Draco Malfoy, because nice boys are not exciting. And for a while I just wanted exciting. _

_A few months prior I had made an attempt with Ron, we hadn't gotten as far as sleeping together because I knew that it wasn't going to satisfy me. _

_Fumbles with someone like Ron wasn't what I wanted. I wanted someone who 'wore the pants' – god how I hate that phrase. I didn't want to be in charge. I wanted someone who could teach me. I wanted someone who would make me feel things that were earth shattering._

_I guess I put too much expectation into it, because it never really lived up to it._

_It was sort of shoddy really. Embarrassing, gross and with totally the wrong guy._

I guess I shouldn't lie, should I? For that reason I retract my previous statement. It was perfect, and he was sweet and kind and it was the night I expected and more. And then the morning came and he was gone. But I will eventually relive the whole night in excruciating detail for you to peruse at your leisure. Maybe you can give it to Draco, might like a souvenir to accompany the memory of my virginity.

_I guess I had my very own Son Of a Bitch bad boy, didn't I?_

_Being with Draco was like playing a game of chess when all of your pieces have been taken and all you have left is your king while the other side has everything. _

_Like I was still a beginner and he was surging past advanced and into expert. I was never going to win and for a moment I thought I was drawing ahead; but eventually he slapped me back down to where he thought I should belong._

* * *

**Hello everyone, i hope you are enjoying the story thus far, please continue to read and please drop a review to tell me what you think of the story. constructive criticism is always welcome. :)**


	5. I Feel It In My Bones

**Hello everyone, I just want to warn you that this chapter is definitely rated M. There is also some unwillingness in the first part on hermione's part in the first section, so if you want to skip that part then scroll to about half way and there will be the nicer time that Hermione and Draco participated in together. **

* * *

7th July 

11:40am

Good morning, captain! Rising bright and shiny I see. Clearly my chipper mood is not accurate of reality, but anything to avoid the cigarettes and rubbing alcohol.

At six thirty this morning you woke me up to clean; and clean I did. Well, that is until I had a rather unfortunate encounter with Draco Malfoy for the second time in two days.

Oh the luck.

I am not going to gloss over my feelings. The hurt and torture you have pushed on me, Captain, over the duration of my containment here in the dungeons of the Manor, have given me leave to take the most amount of satisfaction of putting you through your paces by making you feel _every one_ of my emotions on _everything_.

I will revel in the way you squirm as I tell you about every intimate encounter that I have ever had. Maybe I sound bitter, and I hope to fucking Merlin that I do, because Bitter is exactly where I stand on the emotions scale right about now.

The pain I felt to have Draco Malfoy in front of my eyes, his smirk locked firmly on his face as he stopped to appraise me, stabbed viciously at my heart.

_"What are you doing here?" Draco hissed to me, holding onto my arm and digging his nails painfully into my bruising flesh. Welts appeared under his fingernails and he didn't look sorry for it for a moment. Maybe he was having some strange, mind-fucking episode of guilt... or maybe not. _

_Probably not. _

_It took a few moments to collect myself, seeing him there – like some fallen angel with all his golden hair and the sun falling from the window behind him framing his ethereal features – looking completely comfortable in the home of evil is somewhat disturbing, "What do you think I am doing, Malfoy?" I spat, trying – and failing to hold my tongue for even a minute. "I clean toilets as a hobby, keeps the waist trim, you know?" I made to move past him, but the force behind his nails kept my rooted firmly in place. "Or maybe you don't, not like you need it, you look like a fucking starved ferret, Malfoy." _

_What?! _

_Seriously, the best I could come up with – with my overlarge brain and higher than average intelligence – was 'starved ferret!'? SKELETON! I could have called him a skeleton or a corpse or any other of the five hundred or so adjectives that would have made some sort of semblance of sense on the end of that sentence! But, NO! Starved ferret. _

_When I stopped berating myself and my – clearly shrinking – brain power (_I'm pretty sure my failing intellect is down, somewhat anyway because I wouldn't allow you total credit of rendering me incapable of speech, to you and your lack of linguistic finesse_) I realised that I missed most of his next statement. _

_So, instead of admitting to my fumble I lifted my face into my most haughty – stolen from Malfoy, by the way..._ no captain, you insufferable moron, I did not steal his face! I really hope stupid isn'tcatching because I don't think I could ever bear to be as dim witted as you!..._ – expression and I looked down my nose at the blond prick standing in front of me, which was an incredible feat on in and of its own because he still is a good foot and a half taller than I am, until I felt all of my confidence return. _

I may be a captured servant in his house, but I still have part of my dignity intact – at least until I am forced to kiss his feet anyhow; oh great that I just gave you an idea, captain, how you treat me with all of these fancy, high class punishments!

_I marched around his thick frame, "Well, isn't this just the best gift I could ever receive; my slut living in my house ready to _bend_ to my wishes whenever and wherever I desire." The word bend fell from his lips like lemon juice and my face pursed and shrivelled as if I could literally taste the bitterness of the air. _

_"I am not your sex slave, Malfoy!" I spit, turning to continue to brush the already immaculate surface of a crystal counter. Who in their right mind buys a two inch thick, crystal countertop anyway? What an inordinate display of wealth. _

_"We will see, I am already owed a gift for capturing you so efficiently and quickly, I guess it is just fitting that my reward ties into my challenge." Sighing, his hand slips under the stupid, little – being the most adapt adjective of my attire – maid's outfit I am forced into every morning that I have to work in the house. _

Some sick, twisted joke of Lestrange's that plays on some sort of perverted dream of his, I assume. Maybe something that his wife refuses to indulge in?

He is reading over my head again now and I can hear the flick of the lighter as he fires up the end of another – muggle! – cigarette, and his reaction to my statement has me assuming that I am correct in my assumption.

Maybe Bellatrix is as vicious and snide in the bedroom as outside of it.

Oh God...

Awful mental picture...

EW!...

Nasty...

Lestrange with his trousers around his ankles!

Oh... EWWW!

_Anyway, the outfit is not negotiable; I either wear it, or go naked. And I am practically naked anyway; my knickers were removed long ago and I have to walk around bare underneath the small scrap of a dress and the white frilly apron over the top. It looks like it came from one of those Sex stores that you find on the back alleyways in the dingiest parts of London, where one like I would never venture. _

_Draco was the first to touch me, but I have seen the others oogling as I have to bend over and reach up high. Maybe I was wrong before. Maybe I can't fool myself into thinking that I have any dignity left. Maybe I really am just something for Draco to play with in his spare time when he is not out killing muggles, until he gets bored. _

_"I would tie you up real good, slut. And fuck you like the worthless whore that you are," his eyes shone as if in anticipation and he shoved a thick finger inside of me. My eyes watered as I realised that I was _aroused _for him, while nothing akin to remorse for what we have become shows on his features. I really am just his slut. _

In that moment I realised what I had known for a long time, he really didn't care. Ever. Not even when he took me for the first time did he care. He didn't care when he walked away and he doesn't care now.

But I do.

I care and that is what had me dripping with need and so ready for him, even when I knew that he didn't really want me. There was something about the way he spoke to me this morning in the Manor as I cleaned his house.

Maybe it was the way that even though all the words that fell from his mouth were crude and callous and uncaring, the silkiness of his voice still caressed something deep down inside of me for a few moments. And then it all shattered around me.

* * *

_"F-fuck you, Malfoy." He continued to pump a lone finger inside of me, ignoring the embarrassment that had me rooted to the spot and unable to move as he inflicted the most inhumane torture on me. _

_I could tell he was smiling, even though my back was pressed into his chest and the tears began to roll down my cheeks as I realised that I would give anything to feel him again. Even if it means losing all of the humanity that I have left. I guess I really am hopeless. "Look at you, gushing like the Mudblood whore that you are, you can't keep your knickers on for anyone!" he spat, wrenching his finger from inside me and wiping it harshly on my dress. "I bet you fucked your way around all of the Order before I took you to my bed." _

_"You know that's not true." I realised eventually that we had an audience. I should have known that he was playing the crowd. I should have known that he wouldn't have touched me like that – in the halls of his refined, pureblooded, ancestral home – unless he had someone to watch him. _

_Lucius Malfoy stood there, the proudest day of his life as his son tore apart a Mudblood in front of him. Rabastan Lestrange and Scabior stood watching as well and suddenly Draco Malfoy pushed my head down to the ground. This time all traces of arousal had vanished. _

_I no longer wanted this or him or any of it, but the slickness was still there and as he bared me to the three senior Death Eaters, it must have looked like I was completely turned on by the whole experience. I was not. _

_I didn't stop crying once as he shoved his fingers back inside me and kept a hand on my head to force my acceptance of the situation. There was no hiding as he strained my body to comply. "Fuck you." I hissed again, making sure that he was the only one to hear because I wanted everyone else to think I was entirely unresponsive. Like my heart wasn't breaking into hundreds and hundreds of little pieces. _

_I was broken and cracked before, but this really finished it off. _

_Lucius and the others laughed before they stalked away, no doubt this would be dinnertime conversation and they would all laugh at how the Mudblood broke so easily when Draco Malfoy put his mind to it. _

_Draco removed himself from my person, wiping away my touch on my dress and leaving me to drop to the ground in an ungraceful heap. _

I would no longer let Draco Malfoy touch me. He finally ripped the last of my delusions out of the way when he touched me in front of some of the world's worst scum and laughed along with his father. Thankfully, even though there may still be a little part of my that loves him, the rest has turned into hate for what the boy has become. Or what he always was.

Right now, there is nothing more that I want than to forget that he ever touched me.

That he ever used me.

But I want to relieve all the painful memories all at once. Maybe if I tell someone else about our time together than it won't feel so personal and heartfelt and _ours _as it does. Maybe revealing it will lesson some of the burden that I have on my weak shoulders.

_I hummed gently as he traced his lips over a sensitive part of my neck; I had never felt what I was feeling right then before. There was something new and uncertain about the whole situation; something risky and exciting and I had really pulled myself into the Danger Zone with him. _

_This was it. This was the moment I would give myself completely to someone else. I would surrender my body and my virginity to him before letting him consume me completely. "Are you alright?" he asked, holding onto my backside as he pulled my body to straddle him. _

_Dinner had just ended and we had moved to be alone in one of the abandoned upstairs bedrooms. The door had been warded against intruders and we were completely alone for the first time in a week; the same amount of time that I had known that he was the only one that I would ever be able to give this to. The only one who I would ever want to bestow the gift of myself onto, and there was no way that I was going to give this up. "Please Draco." I groaned, moving myself on top of his jean covered erection. _

_I had seen him before, he was long and thick and perfect, but there was still a slight wariness in the back of my mind that it was not going to fit. That he was going to stretch me to breaking point. _

_But I guess that there was always going to be some sort of trepidation about giving myself to someone for the first time, no matter what size their appendage, it just happened that Draco's was abnormally large. "I know darling," he cooed into my ear, all sugar and smiles as he rolled us over, pressing himself more forcefully into the apex of my thighs. My skirt was pushed over my hips and I lifted my body to allow him to remove it completely, I realised that he had also pulled down my knickers while he was at it. He was nothing if not extremely efficient. _

_He palmed my breast once and then ripped my shirt open with deft fingers, removing my bra quickly before cupping my breast once more, taking his time with the removal of his trousers and laughing silently to himself as he watched me grow restless as he remained clothed. _

It was sweet and nice and everything that I could have wanted it to be.

It was like a game of cards when he played with me. He had a crazy poker face, he was dealt his hand, he refused to reveal anything to anyone and then he quickly got everyone to give everything they had before slapping down his cards and grinning triumphantly as we all lost.

* * *

**Sorry to leave it there, their first episode in the bedroom will be continued next time. We have to spread the fun around. Please review :)**


End file.
